Thursday, 3 December, 2020

Read this in: German

How to deal with criticism

Today I’m writing about positivity and criticism. You are positive but there are always people who criticize what you do or who you are? How do you get away from this negativity? Is there a secret?

Did this happen to you as well?

You write about something you care. Or you write about your opinion on a topic. Something that is individual and subjective. And then you get a comment that criticizes your opinion or your point of view. I totally don’t get it. Of course we are all different but if I say I like this, why are you telling me I’m wrong? No – I’m not wrong because this is my personal opinion. You are wrong because you try to change my opinion.

“Two things prevent us from happiness: living in the past and judging others.” Paulo Coelho

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Germany is the leader

Unfortunately this is very sad that I have to say this but Germany is the leader in criticize people. I really have the comparison.  I write in two languages and I have followers from all over the world. My German articles are read by the Germans. My english articles are read from all other countries. I post most of my articles also on FB Groups and response is so different from each other. On German groups you have almost always someone who 1. question something you say 2. criticizes or 3. wants to impose their opinion.
I really find that strange because if I read something about someone and maybe I don’t think the same way I would never ever criticize. Why would I do that? Because we don’t have the same opinion? So what. That is normal. We are not always the same and that is our world. If I love the sun and you don’t. Does it mean the sun is bad because you love the rain? No. It only means you prefer staying in places where there is not so much sun and I want to stay in places where the sun shines almost everyday. That is perfect because it would be difficult if we all would love the sun. Would be a pretty crowded place. 😉

„In Germany envy is the sincerest form of recognition“ Arthur Schopenhauer

Envy

It is not what you write or do what’s wrong. It’s the others people envy that brings to criticism. You maybe have a life what other people would love to have as well but they are lacking of courage. Because they can’t have (what they maybe would like to have) they try to make you smaller. Maybe because your job or blog is better than theirs. Maybe because you travel more often than they. Because you are happy and they are not. But this in NOT your fault neither your problem. Get over it and don’t think too much about it.

„Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.“ Stephen Covey

Tolerance

Tolerance is something that many people don’t understand. The meaning of being tolerant. To tolerate doesn’t mean you have to like everything. But real tolerance means to accept different opinions without trying to impose yours. Doesn’t sound really difficult right. But for many people it is apparently.   

Wasted energy

I don’t know why I should waste my energy for something I can’t change. This is why I maybe don’t try to discuss some things with a person, if I can see that this kind of person is not willing to accept my opinion. I just don’t waste my time for that. Does it mean I’m weak? Does it mean I don’t have enough self-confidence? Hm, no. It does only mean that I use my time more productive than maybe other people.

„I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.“ ~Mahatma Gandhi

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Live and let live

For me this is my mantra. I’m living like that for many many years now. And I totally believe in that from the deepest of my heart. Because why would I judge others people’s life? Why would I judge about different opinions? What makes be better to do that? Do I stand over some people who I can decide whats right or wrong? NO. Absolutely not. I love my life and I’m living my life how I want to live it. It doesn’t have to be the life for everyone. But this is ok because I LIVE MY LIFE. And you should do the same.

„If we try to see something positive in everything we do, life won’t necessarily become easier but it becomes more valuable“. Author Unknown

How do you deal with criticism?

If the critics are constructive than I’m more than happy to hear that. Because I’m always willing to learn. But if the critics are just a hidden message for being rude or mean than I don’t even bother to answer. Because there is no answer for that. If someone criticizes you and your work just because they are mean or invidious than you will never have the chance to change their opinion. Why spending your time for that? Why thinking about that? Don’t! Beware your inner peace and just forget about that. I only say one world – KARMA!

Positivity will change your life

„Life is a boomerang. What you give you get“

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Positive

Being positive is one of the most important characteristic you have. It will lighten up your life – every minute, every day, every moment. You can smile at so many things. Having a positivity in your heart will definitely let you stand out for. The glow from your heart will fill your eyes and your soul. This may sound a little crazy but I can tell you only the things I believe in.

I live like that for many many years now and I’m totally happy with that. People will recognize that and say to you: „Your simile is so beautiful“. I’m not talking about (outward) appearances. I’m talking about your beauty that comes from inside. If you have a positive attitude you will have a positive life. You can’t change other people but you can change how you deal with it.

„A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.“ Patricia Neal

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You don’t need negativity in your life

A few years ago I really made a though decision. I ended a long long friendship. I then (afterwards) realized that it wasn’t a friendship at all because I was the only one believing in that friendship. But I ended it because this person gave me always so much negativity that I felt bad. In every occasion and all the time. Like the whole world is bad to her and all the people are stupid and whatever I did was wrong. After so many years I sat down and I said to me: „I don’t want that negativity in my life anymore.“ I’m the person who I am and if someone doesn’t like me this way than this is ok. But I will not change for anyone.

I think everyone has to take some tough choices in life. If it’s a friendship, a job or maybe your partner. You have to do whats best for you! This is your life and only yours!

„There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.“     Ray Goforth

Sonnenuntergang Italien

You can’t please everybody

If you keep that in mind you will have less problems. Because you definitely can’t please everyone. And it shouldn’t be your goal anyway!! Be whatever you like to be. Be the person you really want to be and you will have a positive life. All the decisions you take are yours. The mistakes you make are yours. And you will learn from that and grow.

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’re damned if you and damned if you don’t.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Life your life how you want to life it

 

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How to deal with criticism

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27 Comments

JustGoPlaces (@justgo_places1) June 20, 2016 at 8:03 pm

Some great advice – sometimes understanding the criticism can help you grow – assuming it was in good faith and not just someone being mean.

    nonsoloamore June 20, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    I totally agree with you

Sheri June 21, 2016 at 11:24 am

I really enjoyed this article as I also write about personal growth and development, which includes criticism and positivity. I think the way you treat people after you have been treated badly by them is a true reflection of your character which is what I try to keep in mind always.

Megan Hutchison June 21, 2016 at 11:37 am

Thank you for this, it’s a wonderful article, and I’m also totally in love with all those amazing quotes you pulled together, many of which I had never seen before! Thank you!

    nonsoloamore June 21, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Thank you so much Megan for your kindness.
    I love quotes. I always try the right quote for every situation. They are so meaningful.

2traveldads June 21, 2016 at 4:13 pm

I completely agree with this. People in this world need to invest their energies in move productive activities than personal criticism. And I love this quote “Two things prevent us from happiness: living in the past and judging others”

Kevin Wagar June 21, 2016 at 4:52 pm

Negativity is a tough thing to deal with, and for everyone it’s a personal experience how it’s handled. You give some great tips on managing it and overcoming!

fittwotravel June 21, 2016 at 7:34 pm

Yes! Super important reminder in regards to blogging. Everyone has their own opinion, but like you said I find that its wasted energy to take the time to say its wrong. Its not worth the negativity!

Ivan castañeda June 21, 2016 at 8:52 pm

your blog is not about fashion, travels or adventures.Is about life itself! wise words!!

    nonsoloamore June 22, 2016 at 11:29 am

    Thank you so much Ivan. Reading this kind of words from you, give me the energy to never stop to do what I’m doing. Thank you again.

a Cajun in Cali June 22, 2016 at 12:57 am

I agree. There is no point in wasting energy arguing with anyone. We control only one thing in this life and that is how we react to others. By arguing you show them you care about what they think.

klipdrifters June 22, 2016 at 12:19 pm

Great article, if people could focus all their negative energy on positive things just imagine how much more good there would be in the world. I completely agree with Karma though, it seems that whateve goes around always ends up coming back around sooner or later.

    nonsoloamore June 25, 2016 at 9:44 am

    Yep, totally believe in “what goes around comes around”. 😀

elizabeth @ Compass & Fork June 22, 2016 at 1:16 pm

So many good points here. I definitely agree about negative relationships, sometimes it is just time to move on. I find myself often using the phrase we can just agree to disagree. I find it interesting that Germans leave more critical comments than your English readers.

    nonsoloamore June 25, 2016 at 9:43 am

    Oh yes – Germans are too critical. I really don’t know why this is so. But it makes me crazy sometimes.

Ami Bhat June 23, 2016 at 8:44 am

Nice perspective to criticism and one that I can agree on. Sometimes your best critics are the ones who can help you improve too 😀

Blair Villanueva June 23, 2016 at 9:02 am

Totally agree! I got lots of criticism and I filtered those criticism – positive ones to keep, and negative ones to trash… but sometimes keeping it quiet is not good 100%, if you believe on your works, then defend it. Stand for it. 😀

    nonsoloamore June 25, 2016 at 9:42 am

    Yes I do but only if I think it would make a difference. If you know that someones just wants to hurt you it does not matter what you say. Ant this is why I will not spend any energy on that. 😉 I prefer spending my energy in positive things. 😉

Dale June 23, 2016 at 9:59 pm

Great article and advice Claudia. This is a topic near and dear to my heart as I’ve been teaching/mentoring Designers and other Creatives for years now and so many struggle with criticism of their work. Being able to understand and deal with this is so important to both a healthy life and career. Thanks for sharing!

    nonsoloamore June 25, 2016 at 9:40 am

    Thanks a lot Dave. I think especially creative jobs like designers, writers, artists and so on struggle with criticism. But especially those jobs are really individual. Maybe you like how I write because you like my style maybe another just don’t. Our work is very subjective. And I think this is what we all have to keep in mind.

Tae June 24, 2016 at 8:08 am

Such a great way to cope with criticism. I always try to think that a comment is just that – a comment. I ignore things that aren’t helpful and move on with my life because I hate wasting energy. Keep up the inspiration 🙂 Like you said about the sun and the rain — everything has a critic 😉

    nonsoloamore June 25, 2016 at 9:36 am

    Thank you so much. I think we really should more often not to weight too much others opinions. 😉

Liana June 26, 2016 at 11:35 am

You’re so right, you can’t please everybody. The thing is to do what makes you happy and then just leave people to their own business. If it means they will criticize your work, let them do it. Critics can be good for your work, because it’s going to bring some point of view from outside, and then you can definitely work on doing more and also, achieving the best version of your work and yourself. It tends to be annoying, but it depends if it’s positive or negative. Negativity is something you shouldn’t deal with and waste your time on! There are so much more things and problems to solve than just dealing with such punks who are just envying your work and your posts and articles! Positivity only bring positivity and that’s what matters! x

Vyjay Rao June 26, 2016 at 1:21 pm

Criticism with the sole objective of criticizing, breeds negativity and nothing else, so one needs to ignore that. On the other hand constructive criticism from a person you know and trust paves the way for improvement.

Kristin S. July 26, 2016 at 2:50 pm

Excellent my friend, take a bow!!! Your words have really resonated to me. You work so hard my dear, never let anyone’s rudeness take you down. Please, keep writing from your heart. Bravo!!!

    nonsoloamore July 27, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    Thank you so much Kristin. It is so important for me to have positive feedback. It reminds you why you work so much and you still have fun. 🙂

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